This sick old guy walks into a church

(Written Sunday, 10/20)
OK, I genuinely am pretty sick today. My nose is running, my head is in cotton, I am coughing and sneezing and I am weak overall. Even before I got this sick, I agreed with some Jubilee Facebook friends last night that I should not attend either Jubilee service today, but instead “keep my fucking germs out of the Celebration Room”.

But Pancho had not gotten an evening walk last night because it was raining hard and she won’t go out the door if it is raining even a little. So, when she slept in late even for her at 10 a.m. – not having peed since 5 p.m. yesterday – she seemed in no hurry to get going, but I hustled her into her harness and sweater and towards the door. “You’re going to explode, girl!”

Pancho on love seat - with computer
Pancho likes to start the day slow.
I was just going to take her across the street – to pee on the grass in front of the AT&T building – but the morning was balmy, my offending foot was not hurting as much as it did when I first got up this morning, and (though even I was not yet conscious of this motivation) Jubilee, a mere two blocks away, was calling.
Every day, when Pancho and I walk past the entrance of the Wall St. Garage and get to the front end of Wall St., at the corner of Otis, we have a choice of making a left turn down Wall St. (my overall preference – and occasionally Panchita’s) or continuing south around the jeweler’s, to make a left on Patton. (Pancho’s usual preference, for reasons I can’t ascertain.)  By this time, I was clear that this morning I really did want to go by Jubilee – and allowed myself to prevail in our decision-making.  (“Yes Panchita, I realize that this really is your walk – but that doesn’t mean you always get to have your way.”)

As we walked down the block towards Jubilee, I did some quick negotiating with myself about entering the building.  “I’ll hang in the hallway close to the front door.  It would be so good to even momentarily be in there with my peeps, to hear Amy’s sweet voice, to maybe sing a song.” (“Yeah, right – you’re going to sing today.”) “If I cough or sneeze, I will leave immediately.” I never actually did cough or sneeze while I was in that sacred space.

Almost as soon as we got inside, my good buddy Wendy Lynn Nethersole came my way – offering a hug.  I waved her off, using all kinds of ridiculous little mime gestures to try to indicate that I was not well – and, certified intuitive that she is, she did get my drift.  Then she went to the back of the hall, just past the hallway, was approached by Gabriel and immediately they shared one of the sweetest, most lyrical dances I’ve seen him do – they both were absolutely radiant.

Wendy L N
Wendy Lynn Nethersole
I heard the very end of Amy’s talk and the Lakota prayer she read.  The references to ease and “inner knowing” so directly reflected the blog I had feverishly transcribed this morning – as Spirit dictated to me – “The Avenging Angel”, about obeying the guidance of Spirit to intervene in the oppression  around you with loud, righteous anger and, if necessary, physical violence.  (I know that Amy did not preach this morning about this exact element of ease and inner knowing, but she tells me that this material was actually in the first draft of her talk, but she had to cut it at the very end in the interest of time:)).

If this Avenging Angel blog post is just a little too disturbing for you – or even, for you, raises concerns about whether I have lost it altogether – hang in and read “A Radical Reorganization of My Relationship with Rest“, which may reassure you that I am still trying to keep my feet on the ground.

swollen foot - 10-3-19
Last week, my swollen, infected feet called out to me, “Come back! Pay attention to us!  You can’t stay in your super-exciting spiritual world all the time!  We need you to keep your feet on the ground!  Or we will sure-enough fuck you up!”

Before the service broke up, there was some song that I found rhythmic and infectious and – I’m so sorry, all you accumulated doctors – I briefly did dance.  No vertical, no jumping up and down – just shifting my weight from side to side, pursing my lips in various intense little rock and roll expressions, and moving my arms and torso in insanely sexy ways.  The teen-aged girls sitting on the floor in the hallway next to me averted their eyes.

As Amy was wrapping the service up, I thought wistfully for a moment how nice it might be to hang in the back and say “Hi” to a few friends on their way out.  But I knew that – even beside the germs issue – my energy just wasn’t up to this.

But I had gotten what I needed!  Even a five-minute hit of Jubilee was great!  Probably my only foray into the out of doors today.  I will probably recruit Diana or Angie from my building to give Pancho a couple more walks today – and otherwise I will just write like a mother-fucker.  Sometime today, I will watch one of the videos of Amy’s early services, which I had thought I would do promptly do at 11:18 – until sneaking in on the actual, physical, non-virtual Jubilee upstaged that plan.

Published by Majo

These days all of my identities are converging: whether I am offering a blessing in the grocery store checkout line, offering a prayer in a poem or experiencing the kinship with all life while walking my or a client's dog - it's all the same. It's all Life.

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