The kundalini yoga people – and especially the worshippers of the sacred tantra – have it exactly right: men do better – are more alive in general – if their dick is hard just as much as possible and if – when your dick is not actually hard – you have an erection just under the surface, you are so sexually energized that you will spring a hard-on almost immediately if presented with a woman that you find in any way attractive. This is still enormously true at 73 – though this fabulous capacity has been reclaimed just four months ago.
I want to be turned on to life: and this holistic quality of energized, enthused, happy – moving towards life with a vengeance – is very specifically and definitely fueled if I am at least slightly sexually aroused.
The natural goal of sexual arousal is not completion – orgasm. No, the natural goal is present right there in the moment, not in any future satiation. Greatly heightened physical and emotional aliveness, a buzzing through the body and mind, naturally available heightened breathing, an intense almost painful in-touchness with your whole environment but especially the people who cross your path, a state of empathy, connection and love with almost all of your fellow human beings – tremendous interest in all of them.
Orgasm is to be indefinitely postponed if not avoided altogether. Orgasm – this amazing, genuinely and specifically mind-blowing, wonderful, ever-more-day-by-day absolute explosion of life energy – which does bring you and any partner spectacular momentary satisfaction – is, however, followed by the life energy slipping almost totally away, leaving you back in the egoic state of lost and alone, encased in your own little skin and personality.
You want to stay hot for life just as much as possible, drawn with an almost giddy enthusiasm to all of your species-mates – and especially any natural sexual partners…for me women of all adult ages and almost any level of attractiveness, including many women who in a lesser level of arousal I might not notice at all, but in this state pull out of me immense interest, curiosity and hunger for deep emotional/physical/sexual connection.
In this state of heightened arousal, time almost stands still – and at the same time the present moment is so exquisitely alive, dazzling, that you want it never to end. Almost all activities are tremendously pleasurable.
Cashiering – my absolute favorite current activity at all levels of personal/sexual arousal, but especially at any heightened level of arousal – is enormously fun and exciting. The parade of fascinating and gorgeous life-forms that Life presents to me – dumps in my lap, with no effort on my part, no need to chase/lure/recruit/seduce – they just show up in front of me, is so much prosperity that I can barely tolerate it. I want to bellow my aliveness and happiness – to scream my excitement.
And the process of engagement with any human is fun, funny, alive, curious, playful and very, very happy. And if that fellow human being is an emotionally alive, age-appropriate female of any level of attractiveness, the emotional-intellectual-sexual connection is almost unendurable. You want to play with her, to just keep her right in front of you at exactly at that distance in front of you where you can totally take her in – and at the same time you want to totally devour her, to have every kind of imaginable fun with her.
The t-shirts say “Life is good.” They don’t have any fucking idea. To think that the sterile, puritanical, life-crushing, judgmental mind-set of so much of our society might lead any other humans to think of this happy, exciting description of life as suspicious, disreputable, low-consciousness, immoral or in way undesirable – or in any way less than fabulous, alive and so-desirable – is a profound, tragic loss. How did we lose our natural/magical/mystical connection with our species-mates? How did our life energy become so depressed/repressed/oppressed? How have we so lost touch with our true selves? It is a mystery and an unmitigated disaster – so amazingly sad that one could literally cry forever.
And what a total, thrilling miracle that this loss is totally reversible – that one, at any age and in any shape can completely reclaim your capacity for tingling, total-body-and-mind, raging enthusiasm and ravenous desire for every-more-aliveness. This doesn’t just restore your faith in life and humanity. This totally returns such excited, orgasmic pleasure to the here and now, to every moment that you feel – in the moment an all-consuming, inexpressible aliveness that only possible response is gratitude, gratitude for life, for this moment, for this body, for this partner, for this breath. Thank you.