Confidence

To Amy Steinberg

Thank you so much for giving me “Confidence” yesterday – when I really needed it! (Must Be the Moon album on Pandora)

Must be the moon cover
“Must Be the Moon” album by Amy Steinberg

Two messages ago, I told you how that wonderful song helped me fight back from being capsized by an attack by a highly esteemed “light-chaser” friend.  Well, it just seems that the clearer and stronger I get, the more challenging are the tests that life is sending me. And, thanks to my new musical friend – who gives me power amulets like “Shine” and “Confidence” – I’m getting through them in flying colors.  I don’t know what my morning would have been like yesterday without being armed with “Confidence” – but that song was definitely the light saber that I used to fight off two very difficult attacks. 

Just a few minutes after arriving at work yesterday for my 8-4 shift, I was in the staff break room putting on my team apron.  me efr gretchenThe same music plays overhead in that room as in the bigger store, but you can hear it a lot better in that smaller space. And, just before I left that room, I realized that the song that was playing was your “Exactly”!  I had never heard it before seeing you do it live on Friday night, but then had heard it on Pandora several times over the weekend – and had been dancing wildly to it just about three hours earlier!

I was so excited about this that I ran out to tell a cashier friend, Suzie, before the song finished.  

“Suzie, Suzie, listen to this song!  This is Amy Steinberg – our new minister who I saw at the Isis Friday night!”Amy escited laughing - wild hair

Suzie: “I can’t hear anything.

And it really was very hard to hear the music from where we were standing by the cash registers.  I was able to follow it, because it was so in my head – and because I was just hearing it clearly back in the break room.

“Yeah, it’s Amy – this is her biggest song, ‘Exactly’.  I knew that this song had made it big – but here it is, right here at work, when her music has totally dominated my weekend!”

Suddenly Suzie went from not hearing the music at all to being totally positive that what she was hearing was totally different from what I was hearing.  “That’s Michael McDonald.”

“No! No! It’s Amy Steinberg – ‘Exactly’.  I was dancing to that song three hours ago.”

Suzie, with more forcefulness: “No, that’s Michael McDonald.”

“No – it’s the same music out here as back in the break room, right?  It’s hard to hear it clearly out here.”  I ran 10 yards to stand directly under the speaker.  “Yeah, yeah – it’s definitely Amy.  I know this song really well.”

“There is no question that that is definitely Michael McDonald.”

“What?!  Is there another speaker out here somewhere?  The speaker I was just standing under is playing Amy Steinberg.”

It was so shocking and disturbing: it was the classic case of looking at the same white object and having the person next to you claim that it is black.  And it was kind of horrifying that my friend, who had so little real information (a moment before she “couldn’t hear anything“) could become so arrogant and defensive and unwilling to consider any other way to perceive things.  “What is making her do that?”

So not only had she very directly challenged and invalidated my reality – but she had taken my “miracle moment”, my thrill at hearing my beloved Amy on our Earth Fare stereo – right after coming back to work from a weekend that was so dominated by your music – and said that I was not having a miracle at all, that I wasn’t even hearing your song.

I gave up trying to reach her and quickly walked to the cafe to get coffee (free for staff).  I was really supposed to be at my cash register by then, but there was no action yet at the Front End – and I needed to walk this off.  And half-way to the cafe, I heard you singing, “People will try to tear you down…”

The miracle state that I had lived in all weekend – and which had followed me to work – was very directly challenged and even kind of attacked. Your song helped me to find my strength – and, yes, confidence. 

Confidence by Amy Steinberg (from the album Must Be the Moon)

                     Pandora      YouTube

Published by Majo

These days all of my identities are converging: whether I am offering a blessing in the grocery store checkout line, offering a prayer in a poem or experiencing the kinship with all life while walking my or a client's dog - it's all the same. It's all Life.

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